The White Mountain roundup has started and I have to be honest with you all, I’m a bit of a mess. Not being there to observe, to grieve with these horses that mean so much to me as they are losing everything just hurts. My heart aches, my gut churns, and my fingers turn to icicles as I wonder what is happening. Who is caught and who is still free. Who made it safely to the trap and who will not live to see another sunrise.
I’ve been going back and forth on if I should post and what I should post. I feel guilty for not writing earlier. I wonder if anything I come up with is too little, too late. I have my excuses, but surely I could have eked out some time during maternity leave to peck out a few words on this keyboard, to share thoughts and photos, and just be part of the collective grief we all face with each horse removed.
I am also paranoid. I’m afraid that if I let my emotions run too wild this week there is a slim chance someone with the BLM would see such things and it could cause damage to the horses. This fear has only been heightened by the knowledge that 2/3 of White Mountain’s captured horses may go to the inaccessible bottomless pit that Canon City has become.
So I shall endeavor to rein my emotions in.
As humans we so often determine somethings value by what it can give to us.
The Rock Springs Grazing Association finds value in their sheep and cattle, and so need to destroy anything that they deem as a threat to what they can profit. Between the subsidies to graze and the extra space for even more livestock, the most valuable wild horse is a dead one.
The BLM finds value in removing the horses. They’ll whine and cry and pretend like that’s not the case, but it’s all just an act. Roundups are an easy way to justify keeping their jobs and getting Congress to give them even more money. Roundups are much, much easier than actually coming up with innovative solutions to allow these horses to thrive and remain where they belong. Sure it’s broken, but that’s how it’s always been done. The BLM hems and haws and complains about not having enough room or money for the horses, yet gleefully announce they’re taking more, more, more year in and out. Every horse taken is another year of job security from the top down. Just look at how hard it is to adopt a horse in this post-pandemic world.
Adopters find value in getting to pick out a horse that meets the criteria they want. To them a horse is valuable if they’re the right color, the right build, the right brain. The horses value is as a tool to be ridden or driven. The horses killed over broken legs or having a defect don’t matter. They probably needed to be killed. The tens of thousands of horses who don’t meet that criteria are easily put out of sight and out of mind.
These are all things I have covered before.
I am guilty of letting my own thoughts and feelings govern the horses value as well. I value these horses because I know them. For over a decade they have brought me enjoyment. They’ve taught me lessons about their culture and life in general. This too is selfish. Sure, I’ve followed all the other roundups, my heart aching for those horses. It is knowing the White Mountain horses as individuals is what makes the hurt so much deeper now. Heck, I even have favorites amongst them! My brain loves to swing into that bargaining stage of grief where I pray to God that the horses will be spared but especially this select list of certain horses.
That’s disgusting. No horse deserves to spend the rest of their lives languishing in the feedlots the BLM passes off as holding facilities. A horses’ worthiness is not something I get to decide. I cannot blame anyone who might judge me for these words. It’s a reasonable reaction. I confess my sins publicly knowing they’re wrong but also knowing that someone may read these words and understand the similar wars going on in their own mind.
Right in the dead center of all these dark thoughts is a mare I never met.
On January 10, 2022 the BLM killed a 14 year old Little Colorado mare for being blind. She is one of 17 horses in Little Colorado who were killed in the roundup. Most of them were described as having “pre-existing” broken legs. It’s that blind mare I can’t stop thinking about, though.
I have no doubt that mares life was harder than that of her sighted brethren. She would have been unable to respond to social cues like pinned ears or snaking. She would have stumbled more often of holes in the earth, and been dependent on the rest of her band to help her avoid threats. However, I’m not remotely surprised that a blind horse would have survived in the wild.
One eye, two eyes, or no eyes, wild horse society is designed to support one another. Who knows how many years that mare lived not needing her eyes to survive. On her last day on this earth, she was able to cover miles of ground being chased down by a helicopter. Her band helped her through that.
Then she was killed. Blind horses are of no use. It would be too much of a hassle to deal with her in captivity, and too “complicated” to release her back with a familliar family member that she trusted.
That mare had a place she belonged, and a role she served. Her existence was completely independent of a human’s opinion on her condition.
Pearl lost her left eye when she was a few weeks old. Does one eye working warranty mercy where no working eyes did not?
Curly has spent years living with White Mountain knee. Every single day of those years has been spent surrounded by bachelors. Sometimes his own sons, but often youngsters with no relation to Curly.
No doubt the pain of a bad knee causes Curly to suffer. He’s inching towards his death, if he’s not dead already. Does that pain give humans the right to “put him out of his misery”?
What about Doc Holliday and Fisk? They’ve spent years trying to win a band. Their efforts cost them, and both were recovering from injuries the last time I saw them. Do they deserve death if they aren’t 100% sound the day they’re captured? When they’re already about to lose everything they worked so hard for?
Ponderosa is long in the tooth and gray in the face. She has not had foaled once in the past 12 years. Does she pose such a threat to justify forcing an IUD into her as a testing ground?
Trip is a major grump, but I’d be willing to bet that’s not the first thing most people notice about him. There are individuals salivating over their desire to adopt a curly horse. Should a horse that is ill suited for captivity be taken because a rare trait is in demand?
Comet is not the kind of horse the average person would jump to adopt. She’s middle aged, short, and built like a beach ball. Her coat bears more corn spots then some of the stallions her age. Will the BLM give her a break, assume her color and short stature means she’s more likely to maintain the genetic diversity in a herd of sorrels? Or will Comet be slated to spend the rest of her days in government holding?
What about those plain old sorrels? Achilles is another little shorting, having barely survived a severe injury as a foal. Being born to an excellent mother helped him make it through, but he still bears the scar. Does this 6 year old catch a break and avoid the helicopters or will he disappear into the unknown depths of the BLM system?
I want my daughter to grow up in a world where horses still run free. Where the coyotes that howl at the moon on my front lawn aren’t lured to their deaths by my neighbors. Where wolves and mountain lions are recognized for the good they do for the ecosystem. I don’t want our fights to drag out so long that they become her fights. I cannot promise her any of those things. I can’t promise her a better world, but I can do my part to strive for one.
Please pray for the White Mountain horses. That they would stay safe. That as many as possible can avoid capture. That those who are captured are sent places where they can be found and accounted for. That they go to loving and safe homes.
Please keep all the wonderful people who have been able to observe this ongoing roundup in your thoughts. Thank them for their efforts which help to keep the BLM accountable for the horses welfare but which also damage the spirit.